[previous] | [main] | [next]

"THE CULT OF THE DEAD COW OFFERS A HELPING HAND IN AMERICA'S TIME OF NEED" by Oxblood Ruffin

| digg

Oxblood Ruffin sez:
In an effort to turn the tide in the war on terrorism, a private-sector think tank offers its expertise to the FBI.



LUBBOCK, TX, November 26 -- Never before has the United States faced a more troublesome enemy. To meet this growing challenge, the Federal Bureau of Investigation has announced an ongoing effort to create and deploy best-of-breed electronic surveillance software.



In July 2000 the FBI unveiled Carnivore (now called the DCS-1000), a sniffer capable of plucking relevant packet headers out of live data streams. To augment the investigative value of the DCS-1000, last week the FBI announced the development of "Magic Lantern", a rootkit for gathering information on target computers.



According to all accounts, this represents a major leap forward in the fight against all forms of computer crime. But we in the CULT OF THE DEAD COW (cDc) believe that there are opportunities here for public/private sector synergy.



"While we applaud the innovation and drive of the federal law enforcement agency, those of us who are U.S. citizens would be remiss if we did not offer our expertise in this area." said Reid Fleming, a cDc member.



The CULT OF THE DEAD COW has more targeted experience than anyone else in this field. We have repeatedly demonstrated our long-term commitment to this technology area with the release of the original Back Orifice in 1998, and its successor, Back Orifice 2000.



We are quite confident that the FBI's Engineering Research Facility is more than capable of ramping up on the challenges posed by this new arena of surveillance. But we are in a unique position to assist them in their new mission. For our part, conceptual work has already begun on an all-new remote administration tool focused specifically on the needs of the law enforcement community.



So we intend to re-architect Back Orifice from the ground up. There will be absolutely no shared code between the two projects, in order to skirt detection by commercial antivirus packages. The code will remain totally secret. The software will never surface publicly. And it will be far more stealthy than anything we have ever released, demoed, or publicly discussed.



It will contain roughly the functionality of the current Back Orifice 2000 product, plus many new features. The central design principle is to create an artificial witness which is capable of intercepting any and all relevant activity during, after, and even leading up to the commission of a computer crime.



The new system will be designed to guard against internet fraud, identity theft, unauthorized system access, virus writing, industrial espionage, child pornography, information warfare, public corruption, composing hate speech, and other serious felonies which threaten the security of our nation and the safety of its citizens.



To avoid becoming obsolete, the proposed system will be expandable through the use of plug-in components. This will enable rapid development of new operating system ports, as well as entirely new features. Several plug-ins are already under consideration or active development:



  • IMAGE ANALYZERS for recognizing certain shapes and images in digital photos, like: flags and emblems of terror groups, blueprints and schematics of critical national infrastructure, representations of nude or missing children, as well as faces of known or suspected criminals.



  • ELECTRONIC FIELD AGENTS leverage recent advances in fuzzy logic to perform much of the data acquisition and analysis on the remote PC. This enables the program to conduct wide-ranging data hunts and filter out any materials which do not conform to federal search and seizure law. Using the power of the suspect's own computer system, the software can scour stored files and live traffic across the internal network for items which conform with a high degree of probability to Title 18 legal requirements.



  • UNICODE-AWARE TEXT SEARCHES for matching live typing against a list of trigger words in any language, including Arabic. The dictionary of trigger words can be updated at any time over subliminal channels without arousing suspicion of the most knowledgeable systems analyst. The dictionary can be used to match proper names, book titles, airport codes, and general terms like "bomb" or "virus" in any Unicode language.



  • LOGIC AND GRAMMAR ENGINES will be able to detect telltale signs of mental disturbance. In conjunction with the text search capability, this feature will weed out the merely neurotic from the dangerously insane.

This will be nothing less than the ultimate intelligence-gathering tool. And we intend to construct it, at no cost, exclusively for the use of the federal government.



"This will be better than other available tools," said Oxblood Ruffin, foreign minister of the cDc. "We wish to provide infrastructure as part of a successful, multi-layered, pyramidal cybercrime strategy. Our system will provide information to help federal prosecutors determine their legal strategy before anyone is tried or even indicted."



"We are confident that the government will limit the use of this technology only to targets relevant to legitimate investigations," said Fleming, further underscoring the cult's faith in federal law enforcement organizations. "The FBI has a long history of following Title 18 to the letter."



Press Contact:


    Oxblood Ruffin
    oxblood@cultdeadcow.com

About the CULT OF THE DEAD COW

Based in Lubbock, Texas, the CULT OF THE DEAD COW (cDc) is a leading developer of Internet privacy and security tools. The group was founded in 1984 in order to create and promote technologies that provide ordinary computer users with comprehensive online privacy solutions. The cDc is dedicated to protecting the online privacy rights of all Internet users. Its mission is to eliminate the abuse of Internet privacy that is rampant in the United States and throughout the world. For more information on the cDc, please visit http://www.cultdeadcow.com/

For more information on Back Orifice 2000, please visit the website at http://sourceforge.net/projects/bo2k/

CULT OF THE DEAD COW

Mind viruses. Deadly memes.
ASSAULT TELECOM.
BOW TO THE COW

cDc site version 666.2.0

All of us in the cDc participate in this site. If you want to complain because this ain't teaching you how to be an 31337 hax0r, you can eat our collective ass. Thx!

Archives


RIP Tequila Willy

Tequila Willy
September 7, 1969 - May 25, 2015


RIP THE NIGHTSTALKER

THE NIGHTSTALKER
December 29, 1951 - June 14, 2012


Memesphere Poopfest

Has the cDc site inspired you to create your OWN? Has it filled you with a desire to go out and create a blog full of beauty and sparkly magic? Or has it driven you to create your own site full of bile, bitterness, and bad sportsmanship?

Click these buttons for red hott daisy chain action!

burn that fuggin' feed

cDc on archive.org cDc on delicious cDc on everything2.com cDc on Facebook
cDc Feed on Feedburner cDc on flickr cDc on Last.fm cDc on MySpace
cDc on Newgrounds cDc on Reddit cDc Technorati profile DSE on twitter
cDc on Wikipedia cDc on YouTube

Kitten Friendly!


Legal Crap

"CULT OF THE DEAD COW"
is a registered trademark of
cDc communications.
Use The Name, face The Wrath.

License | Privacy

Wiz Dumb

CULT OF THE DEAD COW

the internet's #1 white slavery and cockfighting site!
COW IS NOW

Recent texXxt

414 "How Are You Feeling?" by Oxycolton
413 "Temporary Paralysis: A One-Act Play" by Jake Edward Kara
412 "The Screen Generation" by elliot.pank
411 "The DEFCON 2007 Experience" by Oxycolton, KEMiKAL, and Flack
410 "My Bike" by Lupo



Recent Books

Invading Spaces


Recent Muzak


Recent grafx

cDc #047
cDc #047
"Sometimes it's just like that."
by Punkle Jones

cDc #046
cDc #046
"I Love a Parade!" by G. Ratte'

- all grafx -

Recent Video



- all video -