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texXxt #413 - Drama! Humor! Paralysis!

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Here's cDc paramedia texXxt #413 "Temporary Paralysis: A One-Act Play" by Jake Edward Kara. It's a very Woody Allen-inspired piece. Contact Mr. Kara if you'd like to put it on in your UIL one-act play competition.

Recently, we had the chance to share this with a bona fide Hollywood agent. Here is his reaction, in its entirety:

*throws VARIETY across room in wild-eyed ecstasy!*

HOLY FUCK!!!

(sing-songy and slightly Jewish accent (the fact that I am not Jewish does not matter)
IIIIIII smell OOOOOOSCAR!!!!!

*takes bite out of bagel and eyes already peeled, hard-boiled eggs in blue, glass bowl*

Vicky, Vicky, Vicky, babe! Your dream role is right here. *tap tap* You'll be a man in a full body cast falling down lots of stairs. It's called "Falling Down Stairs," and they've got Hype Williams on board so you KNOW there'll be plenty of close-ups. He wants this to be his Hitchcock movie. The gist of the story is this: you're falling down the world's longest flight of stairs in real time - kinda like that Johnny Depp movie, 'cept interesting - and you'll be wearing one of those cameras that point only at your face, like in those "Holy Crap I'm in a Haunted Castle" tv shows. Here's the kicker - it's an IMAX camera, and it's gonna be as real as it gets; no CGI, no green screen. You'll go down the stairs for 80 minutes in the safest hamsterball they can afford on no budget and there's no way you can be hurt. Whatever happens, they're gonna call it art Vicky baby. Hamsterball! IMAX! Busta Rhymes is on board for whatever Hype will use him for, as long as he gets screen time! You've been wanting to act with Busta ever since Higher Learning, I know. And that creepy Rappaport kid won't be allowed on the lot, so relax. Vicky?


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Too busy with other things at the moment. Will transcribe .pdf to .html and update mobile version some time this weekend.


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